Why Professionalism Doesn't Work For Millennials.

There are several types of professionalism, the type I’m talking about in this post is only the shallow professionalism - ie how we dress, look and present ourselves. Because that’s the type of “professionalism” where great people with great potential aren’t given opportunities because of unconscious biases from prospecting employers.

I’ll do another post on what millennials perceive as professionalism.

I was born in 1995, so technically I’m not even a millennial; bc I wasn’t old enough to be personally affected by The Great Recession of 2009 and I’m not young enough to count as what they call “Gen Z”. I’m that weird in between generation who had our earliest toddler years without internet but who from about age 10 had daily access to it.

This is the earliest picture of me on the internet, I think I’m 8 here, I’m the one in the light blue jacket & red pants fourth from the right at the front looking up towards the sky.

This is the earliest picture of me on the internet, I think I’m 8 here, I’m the one in the light blue jacket & red pants fourth from the right at the front looking up towards the sky.

One of many pics taken with my first webcam. Here with my friend Annie wearing funny wigs I had in my room. (I did acting so ofc I had costumes duh)

One of many pics taken with my first webcam. Here with my friend Annie wearing funny wigs I had in my room. (I did acting so ofc I had costumes duh)

Me, looking back at it - probably harassing my friend Gustav. I wonder what he’s up to nowadays?

Me, looking back at it - probably harassing my friend Gustav. I wonder what he’s up to nowadays?

Because of the generation I belong to, I basically have my whole life on the internet. Yes, I got pictures from my first day of middle school, to my first day of high school - to less innocent pictures of the first party where I got drunk, smoked my first cigarette, my first music festival - to my high school graduation, to moving to another country, getting my first job - all that is on the internet. Believe it or not there’s even a ‘nude’ of me on Facebook (taken at the music festival Emmaboda I went to as a 17 yo).

Here’s me at one of my first parties. I’d stolen my sister’s graduation dress from her wardrobe and she found out bc she saw pics from the party on my Facebook. Tbh I think she’s still quite angry with me for it.

Here’s me at one of my first parties. I’d stolen my sister’s graduation dress from her wardrobe and she found out bc she saw pics from the party on my Facebook. Tbh I think she’s still quite angry with me for it.

A more innocent photo of me from the year that picture of me naked ended up on Facebook. I was super happy to see my favorite band “Lilla Sällskapet”.

A more innocent photo of me from the year that picture of me naked ended up on Facebook. I was super happy to see my favorite band “Lilla Sällskapet”.

Free for anyone to enjoy.

Me walking my first pride parade at age 16. I’m the one in the purple wig.

Me walking my first pride parade at age 16. I’m the one in the purple wig.

For a long time I tried to hide these pictures. Especially as I was growing up thinking about my future career I got concerned about the “image” I give potential employers when they google my name. So, I did a digi clean, making sure pictures I was tagged in was only visible by me, deleted my old Twitter account where I basically just wrote about all the guys I’d had sex with. Everything, poof! All gone! Peuh!

The clean version of what happens when you google my name.

The clean version of what happens when you google my name.

But then I realized, waaaait a minute… Why should I clean my name on the internet? If anything that’d just give them false hopes of me being someone I’m not. And as someone who has all her life on the internet, it also means that I’ve always had two versions of myself - one internet version of me and one real life version of me. It comes and goes in waves how close the internet version is of the real version of me. But I’d say a majority of the time the internet version of me has been a filtered, polished, ‘better’ version of me. Because I’ve felt like on the internet I’ve at least had some sort of control of how people can perceive me - in real life it’s just who I am with all the flaws that comes with it.

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But you know what? I honestly think it’s the other way around. I don’t really have any control of what you can find out about me on the internet - if I’m lucky you’ll find an interview with me CNN did when I was 17 and helped opened up Sweden’s first gender neutral changing room; if I’m less lucky you’ll find that nude pic from the music festival taken the same year. Because of all this it’s a lot easier for me to control how you perceive me in real life. The more I think about it it’s almost as if I’ve lived my whole life on the internet trying to put a filter on everything, to mold my internet persona into the perfect version of me - but in the same time because I grew up on the internet there’s so much raw, not so pleasant things about me out there that the molding of the perfect internet me becomes so stressful I just kinda have to give up.

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Now to the point about professionalism; being professional is all about molding yourself into the persona the professional system wants you to be in order to take you seriously. Especially as a young woman, the task to be taken seriously is the main goal here. So you put on a suit, put your hair up in a tight bun, paint your face with make up (not too much but not too little - you don’t want them to think you’re a hooker and you don’t want them to look at you and think “Wow she looks tired”) and then you put on your best smile - all for someone to perceive you as something you’re not.

Which is what I’ve done for SO LONG - but goooosshhhh like I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of trying to keep up with a facade, with expectations of how I’m SUPPOSED to be - like why can’t I just be good enough the way I am? Why do I have to try to be someone else? No matter how hard I try to fit into your expectations of how I’m supposed be - you’ll most likely call me fake because you can find out about the real me by a quick Google search.

But I’m sick of it - I gave up my decency on the internet a long time ago so now I’m just gonna wear my internet history like a tattoo on my forehead; you might think I’m stupid for doing it but at least I’m being honest with you about who I am.

Yep, I had a period like this. I don’t even think I was 13 and I hung out on a website called Playahead.com and my nickname was @lemonadfest which translates to “lemonade party” - after a popular gay porn website at the time called “lemonparty.org” bc those were things you thought was funny when you were like 12.

Yep, I had a period like this. I don’t even think I was 13 and I hung out on a website called Playahead.com and my nickname was @lemonadfest which translates to “lemonade party” - after a popular gay porn website at the time called “lemonparty.org” bc those were things you thought was funny when you were like 12.

If you’re reading this and you don’t belong to the weird in betweener generation I happen to belong to, you might have no idea how it feels like to have your whole life on the internet - but I hope that you by reading this have gained some kind of understanding of how it feels like and why it is that young people like me complain about dress codes at work and all that. It’s simply because we’re so tired of pretending to be something we’re not.

So please, next time you’re recruiting - don’t sort out someone because they don’t seem “professional” because it simply just means they’re brave enough to be themselves in a world where everyone’s pretending to be someone they’re not.

Here’s the professional version of myself. It’s also the pic I have on my Linkedin Profile.

Here’s the professional version of myself. It’s also the pic I have on my Linkedin Profile.

… And here’s my most recent instagram upload.

… And here’s my most recent instagram upload.

How to celebrate Christmas alone; the complete guide from someone's who's done it.

How the fuck do you celebrate Christmas alone?

Like seriously, it’s a real issue.

Loneliness is on the rise, especially among young people like myself. So many of us feel like we’re in social isolation. Even tho I’m extremely social, I do from time to time feel extremely lonely - like all of us do I think. But particularly around Christmas I think loneliness can be extremely unbearable.

When I was 17, I was reaaallly angry with my dad. Like really angry. Because my parents had just gotten a divorce and it was the first Christmas we were gonna celebrate with the new family set up, but I didn’t want to.

So instead of celebrating with my family in this new setup; I decided to celebrate Christmas alone, at the age of 17. It might sound really sad, like why would anyone let a 17 yo celebrate Christmas alone?? But the thing is I was the one who chose to celebrate alone because that’s what I wanted, and if I want something I make sure I get it. Yes I was alone, yes I had anxiety about being alone on Christmas Eve, but like looking back at it, it was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I learned so much about myself in those 24h than I think I did during all my teenage years.

After having spent the whole day alone I’d decided to invite some of my friends to just hang around, play some board games and all that. And wow it turned out to be the best Christmas ever. We just had so much fun, like just doing nothing and everything.

Now looking back at it five years later I’m more thankful than ever for doing that to myself. For choosing to celebrate Christmas alone because it’s something that so many of us are scared of. But like I learned from it that it’s doesn’t always have to be a bad thing being alone, bc you learn more about yourself when you’re alone. And like now - I’ll never be scared of being alone again because I know it’s not that bad.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY CHANNUKKA! HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Santa Lucia, the feminist Saint of Christianity.

Does the name S:t Lucia sound familiar to you? Or St. Lucy?

I’m not surprised if you haven’t. If you’re Swedish tho I’m SHOCKED if you haven’t heard her name before bc literally every Swedish school child dress up in white dresses, red ribbons around their waists and candle lights in their hair. See picture below.

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It may sound like a beautiful tradition, everyone singing songs, giving out saffron buns and celebrate a Christian saint. Growing up everyone wanted to be the Lucia, the girl with the light crown, not the so called “tärnor” (translates to kinda like: bridesmaids). We all wanted to be the chosen one - but it was always the most popular, most beautiful girl with blonde hair and blue eyes who got chosen as the Lucia, which is odd baring in mind Lucia was Italian.

I remember in 5th grade I wasn’t chosen to be the Lucia and I was so angry that I instead of joining the crowd of “tärnor” I decided to hold a speech about her before the celebrations started.

Santa Lucia

Santa Lucia

Objectively, it might seem weird that a secularized nation like Sweden would celebrate a Christian saint. But it does actually kinda make sense, bc let’s have a look at what Lucia did in order to become a saint (this is btw research I had to do back in 5th grade to hold that speech I was talking about):

Santa Lucia was born in Syracuse in today’s Italy but back then it was the Roman Empire (Ok Imma get to the point now)

There are several stories about how Santa Lucia became the Saint she’s known as today, but what all these stories have in common is that a disappointed suitor accused her of being a Christian and that she was executed solely bc the fact she was a practicing Christian and bc she gave away her father’s fortune to the poor in Syracuse.

She was supposed to be burned alive, like a witch - bc that’s how you executed women back then. But she survived the burning. The priests then thought she was related to Lucifer, AKA the devil, bc how would she possibly survive being burned alive if she wasn’t? To make sure she was properly gonna die this time they killed her by sticking a sword in her throat.

In Swedish folklore however, there’s a story of Lucia being a young girl, dressed in white, with a crown of candles in her hair like a gloria coming with buns to give to the new born baby Jesus. The tradition says Santa Lucia is about celebrating goodness and kindness - going back to the Italian legend of Lucia who gave her fortune to the poor to still their hunger and helped distress.

The lights of Lucia's crown symbolize a promise that a greater light will soon be lit in the winter darkness, Christmas light. Bc S:t Lucia just happens to be around the time of the winter solstice. In Scandinavia known as the darkest day of the year (it’s a pretty big thing in Scandinavia bc it’s so damn dark during the winter)

Lucia was killed for standing up for those less fortunate then her, she wanted to shine a ray of bright light in all darkness - yet she’s remembered as the popular pretty girl in middle school who goes around and gives everyone saffron buns.

What if we remembered her for what she stood up for, for what she believed in?

She was killed for being a woman taking action for the greater good, the least we can do is try to remember her for more than the popular pretty girl.

Let’s put an end for women being remembered for their looks and start remembering them for what they achieved.

But maybe that’s why Lucia is so popular in Sweden, because she is a feminist icon. After all the Scandinavian countries are the most feminist on earth so why not start there.

A Swedish Christmas Card with a Swedish traditional looking Santa Lucia.

A Swedish Christmas Card with a Swedish traditional looking Santa Lucia.

Are female vloggers women in tech?

Ok so the other day I was at the Google London offices in Soho. It was a talk with five speakers, 4 females and one male - about startups and failures. I went there not only to network and to try and find other people in the same boat as me but also to see who these “women in tech” actually are.

It made me realize two things;

First off: I’m never gonna find other people sitting in the same boat as me. Meaning I’ll never meet anyone else who’s also a female film producer, vlogger, runs a project to create more diversity in the film industry and is as extreme free spirited feminist activist as me. I’m unique in that way. It has both its pros and cons. Bc I’ll never have anyone to ask for advice for the EXACT thing that I’m doing - I can only find people who’re experts in other areas that can help me with their knowledge so I can become more specialized in mine. This is both GREAT and FUCKING SCARY! In the same time that I’m not unique at all, bc everyone else out there are just as unique - experts in their own field. They all have the same feeling as me. Like they have no idea what they’re doing but in the same time they know exactly what they’re doing and they’re the best person for the job.

The second thing?
At the event the speakers talked a lot about ~women in tech~, a very trendy, 2018 expression for a human who happens to be born with a vagina (or not - but identifies as one). There’s a great point to be made to separate women in tech vs men in tech, but if we’re talking about “Women in tech” then why aren’t we talking about “Men in tech”?

And also, what counts as a woman in tech? Do I count as a woman in tech because I vlog? Vlogging is kind of a tech industry, right? It’s a fairly new phenomenon - and there aren’t that many female vloggers vlogging about their daily life out there but there’s literally a fkn ocean of men doing it. Could it be that women are scared of how they will be perceived? That they’ll lose jobs bc of showing their real selves bc it doesn’t fit into the social frames of what a woman is supposed to be?

We need more women in tech - not only doing the hacking, the coding, the blockchain bits and all that. We need more women who’s not scared to step out and do all the things men have been doing for years and years.

Why is everything offensive? How to be aware of your privileges.

Ok so the other day I hung out with Anna (again lol) and we made gogumabap, a korean dish with rice and sweet potato, but like we didn't really make a "genuine" gogumabap bc we used quinoa. Then the day after, my sister Christine came to London and we went to a korean restaurant. It kinda got me thinking if it's offensive to appreciate a culture's food if you're making your own interpretation of it.

I texted my dear friend Hyunsoo, who's from South Korea and asked if it was offensive to make a 'fake' gogumabap he replied "LOL didn't even know that dish came from my country".

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As a white woman who grew up in the West I have to constantly be careful, making sure I'm not offending anyone - which is 100% bless! It's my fkn job to not offend anyone bc basically all the privileges I got are offensive on their own, so it's the least I can do.

It's uncomfortable to talk about race, priveleges and biases - especially when you're the one with all the privileges - bc we all wanna help others but only if it's not at the cost of us giving up on our privileges. But yeah, the first step is to just be aware and be ok with being uncomfortable.

#NotWithMyMoney

Power of Individual Consumers & The Invisible Hand Phenomenon in the film industry

When I was studying at Queens College I took a class in Macroeconomics, taught by Professor Carl Riskin - a bit of an unexpected choice for someone majoring in Film.

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It turned out to be the best choice I’ve ever made. Yes, I had to put down a lot of time reading theories, calculating GDP and analyze equilibrium points - but I actually learned so much! Like I finally was able to UNDERSTAND the principles, the theories, the ideas I had and why I thought they’d work. It gave me the tools to be able to easily explain how I saw the world and what my vision for the world is.

In one of the lectures at the beginning of the semester we talked about Adam Smith. For those of you who don’t know; Adam Smith is the father of economics - without him we wouldn’t be talking about markets, consumers, supply, demand and all that shit.

Anywho, in his book “The Wealth of Nations” Adam Smith talks about a phenomenon called “The Invisible Hand”. Here’s his definition for it:

“The Sole Purpose of all production is to provide the best possible goods to the consumer at the lowest possible price. Society should assist producers of goods and services only to the extent that assisting them benefits the consumer. (The consumer) intends their own gain; and they’re in this, as in many other causes, led by an invisible hand to promote and end which was no part of their intention… By pursuing their own interest, they frequently promotes that of society”

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In short the invisible hand means the choice the individual consumer makes in long term affects what kinda goods and services will be produced. Think of it like when the iPhone came out, bc everyone wanted an iPhone - not only did Apple have to supply more iPhones, their competitors like Android, Huawei and Blackberry had to try to mimic their products to make them more like the iPhones to accommodate to what consumers wanted. Some did this with success, others; like Nokia and Sony Ericsson failed to adapt and lost their market share.

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So what does all this have to do with “The Pink Triangle”, #NotWithMyMoney & creating more diversity on screen?

You see if you, the individual consumer, wouldn’t have bought the iPhone when it came out, Apple’s competitors wouldn’t had tried to re-innovate what Apple was doing. That would’ve in it’s turn led to us not having Google Pixel, Samsung Galaxy S or even a waterproof smartphone.

The same goes for the film industry; if the Hunger Games, Black Panther & Star Wars: Force Awakens wouldn’t had been such great box office successes both domestically and internationally we wouldn’t have seen movies female and BAME driven movies like Wonder Woman, Crazy Rich Asians and Get Out be produced bc investors would think that the risk of doing something completely new could’ve exceeded the benefit of doing things they’ve always been done.

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It’s like how everyone thought Steve Jobs was literally CRAZY when he said he wanted a cordless mouse. “It’s IMPOSSIBLE?? How would that work? No one would buy a cordless mouse?”

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But it’s like this famous Henry Ford quote (like all quotes on the internet tho, you can never know if they’re true or not).

You can’t tell or ask consumers for what they want, you have to show them what they want.

However, if each and every one of us consumers realized how much power our individual choices have in making society progress socially, technologically and economically - we’d be living in an equal world within the next 10 years. But bc we don’t realize it, we keep thinking we’re the ones adapting to innovation, to a system - that our individual choices doesn’t make a difference. And it’s perpetuating a world order none of us like living in. Bc we all wanna matter and we do. We just need to think we do.

So next time you’re at the theatre or browsing through Netflix; think about what difference it makes in the film industry five years from now if you choose to watch Creed II instead of Mission Impossible 57 (Nothing against Tom Cruise or the MI-franchise tho).

You’ve got the power to make Hollywood more diverse!

You’ve got the power to make Hollywood more diverse!

Why Millennials Are Killing Everything


- "Millennials are killing diamonds..."
- "Millennials are killing homeownership..." 
- "Millennials are killing Movie theatres & Cable TV..."
... The list can go on and on and on - but here's the thing! Millennials are killing all these industries bc we want a new system. We don't want stuff to be run the way they've always been run... We're not here to follow rules and norms set up by baby boomers and earlier generations. 

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We millennials are here to change the world. We're here to create a world and a future that's equal and sustainable for ALL OF US.

After all we're the ones who're gonna have to live and clean up the mess made by previous generations for human kind to even survive the global warming.

Forbes wrote a good article on the industries millennials are killing and why, read it here if you wanna.

Oh and another thing; it’s about damn time to start talking WITH us millennials instead of talking ABOUT us, understood? OK? Great!

Thank u, NEXT!


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Screenwriting 101: Learn To Kill Your Darlings

I remember at one of my first Screenwriting classes my professor said "The most important you gotta learn as a writer is to kill your darlings. You can go through this degree and pay a humungous amount of money for tuition fees and all that, but if you don't learn how to kill your darlings - it's not gonna be worth it"

HE WAS SO DAMN RIGHT! The more I think about it the more important I find it to be to be openminded to what others have to say about your work. It can be hard, it can hurt and it can suck. When you're a creator you're basically putting your inner self out there - which is pretty fucking scary.

My approach in the creative process of developing a script is that I have a very clear vision of the IMPACT I want the movie to leave on the viewer. That vision I’m absolutely not willing to compromize with - BUT - I welcome any input and idea of how I can get to that vision, even if it means killing off my favorite character, changing the whole set up of the script, I don’t mind all that - as long as the vision of the impact the screenplay will have isn’t compromized.

So as a part of all this I filmed how I did when I was developing my script and my pitch. Not only from my friends who knows about filmmaking and screenwriting bc most of the time they’re the ones who knows the least of what the audience wants. SO I always try to talk to those I want to go see the movie, like my friend Peter for example who’s studying to be a nurse. He’s not particularly into film, but he goes to the cinema every now and then… You know like most people do.

A Film Producer is always working

Last week it was Thanksgiving, not a huge event in Sweden but in my family - bc of our American heritage - it is. Despite being on "vacation" I still had to work on the production of The Pink Triangle and on the strategy for #NotWithMyMoney.

But you know what? I didn't mind. For two reasons:

1. My work is something I love, what I'm doing right now - it's exactly how I want my life to be. I read a quote on the internet somehwere that goes like this: "Do what you love, and you’ll never work another day in your life." And never has anything been more true (lol ok there're def things more true than that but w/e)

2. I'm so THANKFUL for my family, every single one of them are so supportive and helpful in their own unique way, just like you all are! What was so beautiful was during the Thanksgiving dinner we went around the table and thanked each other, for how lucky we are to be a part of this family. You forget to verbalize it sometimes - how thankful you are, how much you love your family and why. So that was extremely beautiful to witness.